Neil - Changes and Growth

Growing and Discerning...After the Heart of God

Thursday, April 20, 2006

I am who I am

Alright, I know this is about the 3rd post I've had today, but whatever...just doing my nightly ritual of reading/prayer...and my mind is freaking twisted as per usual - so now its the midnight rambling...

Look at this verse(Exodus 3:13-15 for those who are interested):

"Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"
God said to Moses, 'I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: I AM has sent me to you.' "

Donald Miller(Searching for God knows What) put this verse in my head...and I came to a conclusion, which he later elaborated on that I have really felt for a LONG time, and I know I talk about it alot...

John once said in John 21:25 that all the books in the world couldn't contain all of the works of Jesus..meaning there are so many more we don't read about, maybe because they can't be explained, and we can't understand. I understand the purpose of Jesus. I understand his life, his death, his resurrection, his seat at the right hand of the father, how he loves you, me, and all, and how he was sent as a living sacrifice for all of man's sin. I get it.

Take a minute...think about Jesus. What is Jesus to you?

I spent alot of time in Chicago's Midway Airport on Sunday contemplating this question. I came to the conclusions i made above...seeing Jesus as this baby in the manger, or this great looking guy, walking barefoot or in sandals through the sand, with a large group always following him, teaching, performing his miracles, and truly loving people. I don't question what he did...simplifying Christianity...And I fully understand that Jesus was the Son of God and the Son of Man as well...I get all of that. And Miller points this out as well...

But here is where I stopped when I began thinking about the gospel, and I always stutter here and I just don't get it. It's kind of embarassing even...Shouldn't I just 'get' this? If you can help me understand this, I'm always ALL EARS!

Jesus as God? Jesus as some great "I am?"

Christians believe Jesus was God...but I don't get it...I just don't/can't understand Him as that in my head. I don't know why, I just can't. I wish I could, and I try to, but I can't see it, and I've never been able to have somebody explain it to me to a point I could understand. Does Belief require understanding? Miller doesn't think it does, and at this point obviously I sure hope it doesn't either, I'm trying - but I'm not gonna lie and say I undesrstand it because I don't. As Christians there is no doubt we view this as truth because it is scripturally supported. But we don't understand everything as is, which is an encouragement. Jesus doesn't offer some "formula" - he offers himself. And Thank GOD, because if there is any hope...and Miller made this quite clear...for you and me, our hope has to be in this man who claims what I can not understand...He claims to be not of us, but with us, and simply is...

"I am who I am"

Alright time to go read a bit more, and either clarify or spin a little more! In a way I love it, I'm not gonna lie.


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