Neil - Changes and Growth

Growing and Discerning...After the Heart of God

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Fellows, Crap Happens, Atlanta

Just a picture of the fellows - we went to Sears to get this picture taken for Christmas. WOW - yea...the lady behind the counter probably hates us...they thought we were a cult or something. Plus Aaron Andrew and I took all the props and started making ridiculous noises with them, and started saying all kinds of stuff that probably wasn't appropriate. Let's just say we weren't very professional. BUT, we had a great time, had a great time at our xmas party, and let the girls decide which picture to accept because they didn't seem to like any of them. I have more to write about "Blue Like Jazz" - I'm done with it - but I am too lazy to type it all up right now.

A couple thoughts I've had lately...

Have you ever tried to discipline yourself? - Let's say you do something wrong, you sin. This happened to me recently, and I confessed, but still felt uneasy. So I punished myself (i.e. made promises to God) - I don't know if this is what we're supposed to do though, ya know? It's almost as if I'm saying "God can't fix me, so I'll try to fix myself." - but I don't know if that is the case. I just don't feel that I need to do certain things. PLUS, the promise I made would actually help me not fall into the same temptation - okay, I've concluded its okay then under these circumstances!

When flying home from my trip to The dirty south - I got stuck in Atlanta - I always get stuck in Atlanta. No matter what I'm doing or where I'm going, I always seem to end up in Atlanta! It's the 5th time I've been there in 12 months, passing through it or flying through it or whatever. But I was talking on the phone and getting apologies - because i was stuck at the airport for countless hours, put in a hotel for 3 hours, etc. but I didn't feel any type of anger about it - I was saying to myself "I'm getting what I deserve" - I actually found it kind of amusing. The two times that I KNOW I've sinned in the past few weeks (other than unconscious sins such as things we think, etc. I'm talking about actualy actions) Something weird has happened that has made me laugh - the first time was my winshield getting cracked - the next day at 7am actually - and this time the whole airport debocle. YES, I know it may be cooincidence as many people w/ differents types of faith believe - but I LOVE that these things happened, because it keeps me realizing what do and not to do, and who is really in charge of my life. I know some people believe different things, but I ask for these sort of things to happen to keep me in check sadly enough...and I am thankful for them (as long as they aren't too bad...because I know I deserve much worse sometimes!) Crap happens sometimes for good reasons. Deal with it.

I am currently praying for 2 things -

the acceptance of Love, because I don't think I've been doing this succesfully and am not even really confident that I am able to,

and encouraging others - I find sometimes sarcasm and other things get in the way of what I truly want to do, which is encourage people - I know a part of a marriage that is VERY important is being with someone that enourages you, and that you encourage, so that you can grow together. I want to keep becoming that man.

So...The gyms are all much more crowded now. EVERYBODY wants to keep those resolutions. I'm sure 75% of the people on here made some sort of resolution to work out more or eat better. I for one plan to eat more often...yes...but I am going to cut back on the sweets. And I am still planning on running my half-marathon in April, and the hardcore training begins February 1. Anybody want to join me?