Orange Bowl and Knife-throwing

Alright...after staying up until 1 am watching the Orange Bowl, and hearing that the 12 remaining miners in a west virginia mine were found alive...I went to bed at piece. I wake up to learn that only one is alive. Im not pointing any fingers, but I can't imagine the emotions that the family members of the victims went through. GEEZ! Somebody has to think before saying things sometimes ya know - but in the words of the governor..."we were hoping for 12 miracles, and we got 1." Be thankful for that I guess.

You ever feel as if you can sleep for 20 hours straight? I've felt that way for 4 months. And i don't stay up til 4 am anymore...well...usually. Man I feel like such an idiot sometimes...I do the stupidest things. I know they're stupid, do them anyways, then feel bad about it afterwards. Anyways, enough whining and randomness.

I'm trying to learn God's will for my life ....surprise surprise...as we all are. In Matthew 6:25-34:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

What this is saying is almost too simple. God provided people, you and me, with food, clothing and shelter - and did the same for the animals (not clothing obviously) and our lives are much more important than any of this Matthew says...so why worry about the future? real easy to say, not easy to do, I know. But I started thinking about patience, and what a great thing patience can be. And realized how bad it can be if we aren't patient and try to fulfill our needs now - whether it be physical, emotional, or relationship needs, immediately. Satan and God say the same things - "Don't worry about tomorrow." Satan says it, then says "fulfill your needs now." God says it, and says "Trust me." in order to do this, we must be patience. Happiness is temporary; joy is long-term. Which is more important? Think about all the times we sin simply because we aren't patient...

NOTE: I screw up so much in my life and write about things such as what I have just wrote about and feel bad, because I know that I screw up alot with things related to what I write every day of my life. I sin - I have, and I will again. it sucks - but I want to make sure people realize that I know I screw these things up alot, just like everybody else. Im a human, it happens. I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do by reading and learning...only then can I begin to do it.

Look at these pictures - Look at that guy - you think i didnt say a cuss word or two after somebody decided to pour a "liquid" on me at 4 am while I was sleeping on a tuesday night my Jr. year?

The second picture down here is me chasing the you know what that did it! Okay...it was pretty funny AFTER the fact, yes...but I DEFINITELY flipped out in a way I probably am not supposed to - and EVERY one of you would have done the same thing! I was so freaking mad...I walked calmly down the stairs, walked into the kitchen, calmly opened a drawer, and I calmly yet vigorously threw a knife at him - no kidding. Basically, what I am saying is yes...lots of the time...I SUCK. And what's worse, some punk had the nerve to take pictures of the whole ordeal.
But think about what I could have avoided had I been patient...no matter how hard it would be...

Read the key verse again from the above passage from Matthew 6:

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well"

When I hear this, I think of all the times I don't put the kingdom first - and I'm sad because I don't feel worthy to ask for anything - but I still ask for it because i know I have to - and I will continue to do so. again, I must learn to be loved...to allow myself to be loved....and to accept grace. THEN i can learn patience. I know I will be provided with what I need...and in the mean time, when I get mad, I have a drawer full of knives to throw.